I think there actually is a way to synthesize these two points of view. The sins of the parents in Encanto and Seeing Red are that they tried too hard to impose a particular way of life on the child. They were good parents, but they weren’t great parents because they weren’t willing to step aside and let their teenager self-actualize.
If this is in fact the message, it is a bad message. Teenagers have lots of bad ideas about what will help them grow up and become fully human. They will all have to self-actualize in some way, but parents should guide this process, and be free to stop kids from going down some paths.
I would also add, more controversially, that if a parent has made a decision to raise a child in a particular culture, with particular values, they have the right to see that project through in the teenage years. For example, I think it would be acceptable for a Jewish parent to force a teenager to get their bar/bat mitzvah. These parents presumably think there is some benefit to practicing a traditional religion, and have the right to ensure that a teenager doesn’t foolishly let go of something they will value as an adult.
Totally agree and I like your point about certain cultures (eg Jewish etc). I hadn't really thought about it in those terms before.
As to the movies, one reason I liked Coco a little more than some of these other films is that the protagonist, Miguel, has to compromise along with the rest of the family members. There's a give and take on both sides. I have no idea what the right amount of compromise is, but my feeling is that each generation has to be flexible with those that come before/after.
I think there actually is a way to synthesize these two points of view. The sins of the parents in Encanto and Seeing Red are that they tried too hard to impose a particular way of life on the child. They were good parents, but they weren’t great parents because they weren’t willing to step aside and let their teenager self-actualize.
If this is in fact the message, it is a bad message. Teenagers have lots of bad ideas about what will help them grow up and become fully human. They will all have to self-actualize in some way, but parents should guide this process, and be free to stop kids from going down some paths.
I would also add, more controversially, that if a parent has made a decision to raise a child in a particular culture, with particular values, they have the right to see that project through in the teenage years. For example, I think it would be acceptable for a Jewish parent to force a teenager to get their bar/bat mitzvah. These parents presumably think there is some benefit to practicing a traditional religion, and have the right to ensure that a teenager doesn’t foolishly let go of something they will value as an adult.
Totally agree and I like your point about certain cultures (eg Jewish etc). I hadn't really thought about it in those terms before.
As to the movies, one reason I liked Coco a little more than some of these other films is that the protagonist, Miguel, has to compromise along with the rest of the family members. There's a give and take on both sides. I have no idea what the right amount of compromise is, but my feeling is that each generation has to be flexible with those that come before/after.
I absolutely agree about the give and take - allowing a tradition to develop in the next generation is part of how cultures grow.