I noticed this when we spent several days camping with our cousins earlier this year. We have very similarly aged children, and they parent in a way I really respect. I noticed that some of their children had significantly more responsibilities than ours did and they had different expectations for the level of independence they allowed. It was a helpful comparison for me, because we just don't have that many like minded friends whose daily lives I see. I definitely tend towards being more anxious, and also am constantly struggling to reconcile my own experience of being given far more responsibility than was appropriate as a child. It's very difficult to tease this out without a gauge!
Amazing how you've put your finger on another challenge of modern parenting that my family is also facing! My husband and I often find ourselves asking whether our kid is old enough to do X, or should she already know how to do Y? The cutting up of the kids dinner is an exact convo we've had. We have no guidance in our social circle on normal development, so we are kinda just winging it. We are actually strongly considering moving to be nearer several family members with kids of many ages, even though we love our home in Oregon, partly for this very reason.
Love this. I think the lack of community is a root cause of a lot of modern parenting discontent. As I’ve written about this myself, one interesting piece of pushback I’ve received is that the need for a “village” can be used as a euphemism for more government involvement/reliance. I had literally never thought about this, because it’s so clear to me that the village-type support is a big thing that’s lacking for parents in America.
Dec 17, 2023·edited Dec 17, 2023Liked by Jim Dalrymple II
The is actually a brilliant connection.
My husband and I have also kind of winged it with our 3 kids, and Identify completely with this guessing game when it comes to how we're parenting.
In some cases, I can see how it could be good to not unnecessarily compare to "normal" when your kid is totally fine doing whatever they're doing at their own pace, but you're right -- there's just objective benefit in having that big picture of what kids are capable of handling / attempting / mastering so you know when to slow your roll and stop worrying!
I noticed this when we spent several days camping with our cousins earlier this year. We have very similarly aged children, and they parent in a way I really respect. I noticed that some of their children had significantly more responsibilities than ours did and they had different expectations for the level of independence they allowed. It was a helpful comparison for me, because we just don't have that many like minded friends whose daily lives I see. I definitely tend towards being more anxious, and also am constantly struggling to reconcile my own experience of being given far more responsibility than was appropriate as a child. It's very difficult to tease this out without a gauge!
Amazing how you've put your finger on another challenge of modern parenting that my family is also facing! My husband and I often find ourselves asking whether our kid is old enough to do X, or should she already know how to do Y? The cutting up of the kids dinner is an exact convo we've had. We have no guidance in our social circle on normal development, so we are kinda just winging it. We are actually strongly considering moving to be nearer several family members with kids of many ages, even though we love our home in Oregon, partly for this very reason.
Love this. I think the lack of community is a root cause of a lot of modern parenting discontent. As I’ve written about this myself, one interesting piece of pushback I’ve received is that the need for a “village” can be used as a euphemism for more government involvement/reliance. I had literally never thought about this, because it’s so clear to me that the village-type support is a big thing that’s lacking for parents in America.
The is actually a brilliant connection.
My husband and I have also kind of winged it with our 3 kids, and Identify completely with this guessing game when it comes to how we're parenting.
In some cases, I can see how it could be good to not unnecessarily compare to "normal" when your kid is totally fine doing whatever they're doing at their own pace, but you're right -- there's just objective benefit in having that big picture of what kids are capable of handling / attempting / mastering so you know when to slow your roll and stop worrying!