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The world is a different place than it used to be. I'm only 29 and I feel like many shifts have happened. We take our son to the playgrounds near us, but mostly I prefer playdates and scheduled activities. Albeit my son is only 2. But, our main community is at our church and so we gravitate to people who are like us. I'm not willing to risk my kid free-ranging with a parent until he's older and has a more firm grounding and even then I'll still keep an eye.

With technology, ideologies, increasing crime rates, it's not easy being intensive, but the other options are less than stellar.

I don't like Andrew Tate nor Dan Bilzerian. But, I've listened to their talks and they're the only people sounding the alarm on how most women are treating most men like garbage due to feminist, anti-men, anti-family ideologies and other sources of hate. The other side (anti-Tate) just says get married and have a family. People care about the truth. Tate and et al are telling the truth about modern women, whereas the other side isn't even looking at the problem realistically.

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Yeah, to your last point, I think it's a real problem that battle grounds on masculinity have fallen where they have (Tate et al vs trad lifers vs anti family folks etc). I guess it makes sense because on the internet loud and brash voices resonate, but I think there are people like Reeves who are at least trying to push back (albeit in less viral ways). I agree that Tate et al are speaking to some fundamental things that people are feeling, but I also think their behavior is a terrible model (literal crimes, treating women like objects etc). My hope is that there's another way.

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I've noticed that American society tends to lean into extremes, in all manners of life. I think the pendulum will swing far to the other side and it's not a good thing that so many Muslims have come to the US. Their idea of what women should be, is not the ideal. But, I think many will choose that versus half naked women in public at the grocery store. I wish more people could see nuance and gray areas.

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A ton of good stuff here. Dr. Anthony Bradley is another one doing work in the realm of Richard Reeves, concerned about the guys: https://anthonybbradley.substack.com/

He recently wrote a book I'd like to get to (called Heroic Fraternities) which ties into this idea that men need a duty mindset to regain a sense of purpose. The fact that a good foundation can be laid during those college years - in countercultural ways from how we normally think of the worst fraternities.

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Thanks for the heads up on Bradley. Just subscribed and added his book to my list!

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I never expected Downton Abbey to show up on this Stack, but I'm also not very surprised, and at the same time, it is most welcome. Have to look up that scene just to give it another watch!

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Haha, I never expected to make a Downton Abbey reference! But I guess it fit here.

If you look up that scene and it turns out I've completely misremembered it, let me know haha.

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It's proving hard to find so far, but like you, I also have memory of that scene generally playing out like you described. And I believe Lord Grantham mentions it at other points in the show, too. If I do eventually come across it, I won't forget!

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We live in an intentional neighborhood and community, where we can walk over to a friend's house and have playdates for our kids any day. It's incredible and has been life-changing for our family. (We still signed my daughter up for swim lessons, I do want her to know how to swim!)

If you're in the stage of wanting to grow community in which you (and your child!) can build connections and experience "carefree timelessness" with friends, may we share our experience hosting a weekly open invite dinner for the last eight years. We didn't have any expertise, I'm not a chef, and our house is always a mess, we just started hosting!

https://faithandwitness.org/2024/07/16/how-about-dinner/

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