This was really encouraging -- as a mom of four (soon to be five), I do find myself concerned sometimes about placing a burden on the older ones by choosing to have more kids. So to hear you voice, in the same article, that yes, you did feel like you did some of the "raising," but also yes, you're still glad that you're from a big family -- and your siblings have become a part of your "village." It's the best outcome I could imagine for my own kids.
Oh man there were times when I absolutely HATED all the babysitting as a teen haha. But at least for me that frustration didn't translate to long term negativity. The sister who was born when I was prime baby sitting age is now one of my best friends.
"And what I’ve also realized as an adult is that even if it can be annoying to grow up in a big family, childhood is brief."
This makes me also think of the reverse. For parents, their parenting of children is relatively brief!
As you say, there are a multitude of factors as to why people don't want or can't have a BIG family... but my husband and I have also realized that the short-term "pain" (in the general sense of the work of parenting, not cripplingly bad circumstances) should be tempered with the long-term vision. What do we hope the future looks like for us and our kids after the gruntwork of parenting is over? We wouldn't want to make a long-term choice (about having fewer kids) for short-sighted reasons.
Thanks so much! I think about this a lot too. Having had three kids in relatively rapid succession (2 and 3 are only 18 months apart) I'm honestly so tired of the baby stage. But then I think about life in 20 years or 30 years or whatever, and I think the short term pain is relatively inconsequential.
Such an interesting read! But so true. And I've never thought of the fact that as siblings we'll know each other longer as adults than as kids! But of course!! Gives me extra motivation to work on my relationships with my siblings and in-laws.
Thanks so much! And yeah, it's kind of weird to think about! My siblings and I were all adults for years before I realized what a small percentage of our time together will be as kids.
This was really encouraging -- as a mom of four (soon to be five), I do find myself concerned sometimes about placing a burden on the older ones by choosing to have more kids. So to hear you voice, in the same article, that yes, you did feel like you did some of the "raising," but also yes, you're still glad that you're from a big family -- and your siblings have become a part of your "village." It's the best outcome I could imagine for my own kids.
Oh man there were times when I absolutely HATED all the babysitting as a teen haha. But at least for me that frustration didn't translate to long term negativity. The sister who was born when I was prime baby sitting age is now one of my best friends.
"And what I’ve also realized as an adult is that even if it can be annoying to grow up in a big family, childhood is brief."
This makes me also think of the reverse. For parents, their parenting of children is relatively brief!
As you say, there are a multitude of factors as to why people don't want or can't have a BIG family... but my husband and I have also realized that the short-term "pain" (in the general sense of the work of parenting, not cripplingly bad circumstances) should be tempered with the long-term vision. What do we hope the future looks like for us and our kids after the gruntwork of parenting is over? We wouldn't want to make a long-term choice (about having fewer kids) for short-sighted reasons.
Great piece.
Thanks so much! I think about this a lot too. Having had three kids in relatively rapid succession (2 and 3 are only 18 months apart) I'm honestly so tired of the baby stage. But then I think about life in 20 years or 30 years or whatever, and I think the short term pain is relatively inconsequential.
I totally get it and definitely agree -- we had our 3 boys in just under 3 years! Ha
Such an interesting read! But so true. And I've never thought of the fact that as siblings we'll know each other longer as adults than as kids! But of course!! Gives me extra motivation to work on my relationships with my siblings and in-laws.
Thanks so much! And yeah, it's kind of weird to think about! My siblings and I were all adults for years before I realized what a small percentage of our time together will be as kids.