I just stumbled across your Substack and love it. This post especially hit home--I worked for six years at a large, international law firm chasing the brass ring. COVID helped create some space to think more seriously about what kind of life my family and I wanted. We moved West to be near family, and over the past two years have bought eight Jiffy Lubes. There was lots to like about being a lawyer, but owning Jiffy Lubes beats it every day.
I laughed out loud (and so did my wife) at the following line: "But I have never seen a character in a romantic comedy say something like 'find you a man who owns 15 Jiffy Lubes.'"
Hey Jeff! Welcome and thanks for checking out the blog! And it's really cool to hear from someone who made that transition. Sounds like it's going well. When I wrote that line little did I know it would literally describe someone's actual experience haha!
This is what my immigrant grandparents did a century ago. They were farmers, so they bought land. Then they built duplexes on some of that land for income. Their children (including my dad) went to college. But they inherited those duplexes which they used for income . My dad in turn helped me buy my house and put money in a college fund for my children. There was enough $$ left to help my daughter put a down payment on a condo.
My grandparents decisions to invest in property has benefitted four generations (and counting) of our family.
So awesome. I know that my own family had these kinds of stories way back, but at this point we're too many generations removed (one of my grandmas grew up on the family farm but left it and the chain ended with her).
Sorry to hear you got Covid Jim. I got it back in June and am still feeling the effects.
I don't fully agree that the post argues that "the pathway to a successful life is via a well-paying job that affords you nice amenities" ... Within the framework, you might decide that "career" and "money" aren't what you prioritise, and move to somewhere else. It's harder to do in the US, that's for sure, but more and more people are realising the American Dream isn't quite what was promised (Paul Millerd at Boundless has been touching on this recently).
I wrote about my own realisation of this when we lived in SF, and how it took me on quite a different life path here.
Thanks and yeah, I probably am superimposing a thesis that wasn't really the point of your post. Originally, my post was more about mobility; the theory that if you move around a lot (which I've done personally, and most of my close friends also do often) it's hard to set up a family base that'll last more than a single generation. That section was getting so long that I broke if off into a separate draft.
Hopefully I'm not coming off as being careerist in this post, because while I think to each their own, that's a viewpoint I've personally tried to move away from. The thesis I'm arguing instead might be summed up as "how can I create the most rewarding bonds between family members across multiple generations." So, what decisions can I make now that'll improve my daughter's relationship with her own grandchildren 80 years from now. I think the American Dream idea cuts against that intergenerational approach because it's too individualistic and too focused on the short term.
It's also probably worth mentioning that this entire theory springs from living in the US, where there's effectively no support system for families. I'm not optimistic that lawmakers are going to create one, which over time got me thinking about the need for intergenerational support. (eg if there's no affordable childcare for most people, they need family etc.) I suspect people in parts of Europe need this less from a practical perspective because there's more of a social safety net. (That said, traveling to Europe has also informed what I'm writing as I've been exposed to families that have a long, interconnected sense of who they are. I stayed with a guy in Rome once, for example, whose walls were decorated with hundreds of years worth of family portraits and whose house had been in the family longer than the US has been a country.)
Either way, I appreciate what you're writing. I thought that one post captured an idea I've participated in and have been mulling over, and offered a springboard for some ideas (maybe too much of a springboard). But I'm a regular reader and love what you're doing.
I just stumbled across your Substack and love it. This post especially hit home--I worked for six years at a large, international law firm chasing the brass ring. COVID helped create some space to think more seriously about what kind of life my family and I wanted. We moved West to be near family, and over the past two years have bought eight Jiffy Lubes. There was lots to like about being a lawyer, but owning Jiffy Lubes beats it every day.
I laughed out loud (and so did my wife) at the following line: "But I have never seen a character in a romantic comedy say something like 'find you a man who owns 15 Jiffy Lubes.'"
Hey Jeff! Welcome and thanks for checking out the blog! And it's really cool to hear from someone who made that transition. Sounds like it's going well. When I wrote that line little did I know it would literally describe someone's actual experience haha!
This is what my immigrant grandparents did a century ago. They were farmers, so they bought land. Then they built duplexes on some of that land for income. Their children (including my dad) went to college. But they inherited those duplexes which they used for income . My dad in turn helped me buy my house and put money in a college fund for my children. There was enough $$ left to help my daughter put a down payment on a condo.
My grandparents decisions to invest in property has benefitted four generations (and counting) of our family.
So awesome. I know that my own family had these kinds of stories way back, but at this point we're too many generations removed (one of my grandmas grew up on the family farm but left it and the chain ended with her).
Sorry to hear you got Covid Jim. I got it back in June and am still feeling the effects.
I don't fully agree that the post argues that "the pathway to a successful life is via a well-paying job that affords you nice amenities" ... Within the framework, you might decide that "career" and "money" aren't what you prioritise, and move to somewhere else. It's harder to do in the US, that's for sure, but more and more people are realising the American Dream isn't quite what was promised (Paul Millerd at Boundless has been touching on this recently).
I wrote about my own realisation of this when we lived in SF, and how it took me on quite a different life path here.
https://www.thenewfatherhood.org/p/you-are-not-your-job
Thanks and yeah, I probably am superimposing a thesis that wasn't really the point of your post. Originally, my post was more about mobility; the theory that if you move around a lot (which I've done personally, and most of my close friends also do often) it's hard to set up a family base that'll last more than a single generation. That section was getting so long that I broke if off into a separate draft.
Hopefully I'm not coming off as being careerist in this post, because while I think to each their own, that's a viewpoint I've personally tried to move away from. The thesis I'm arguing instead might be summed up as "how can I create the most rewarding bonds between family members across multiple generations." So, what decisions can I make now that'll improve my daughter's relationship with her own grandchildren 80 years from now. I think the American Dream idea cuts against that intergenerational approach because it's too individualistic and too focused on the short term.
It's also probably worth mentioning that this entire theory springs from living in the US, where there's effectively no support system for families. I'm not optimistic that lawmakers are going to create one, which over time got me thinking about the need for intergenerational support. (eg if there's no affordable childcare for most people, they need family etc.) I suspect people in parts of Europe need this less from a practical perspective because there's more of a social safety net. (That said, traveling to Europe has also informed what I'm writing as I've been exposed to families that have a long, interconnected sense of who they are. I stayed with a guy in Rome once, for example, whose walls were decorated with hundreds of years worth of family portraits and whose house had been in the family longer than the US has been a country.)
Either way, I appreciate what you're writing. I thought that one post captured an idea I've participated in and have been mulling over, and offered a springboard for some ideas (maybe too much of a springboard). But I'm a regular reader and love what you're doing.