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Sarah Chow's avatar

This is a really insightful post. I think we spend a lot of time reinventing things that have been working for humans for hundreds and thousands of years. And I wonder if the weakening of the "original institution" family is the real cause of loss of faith in all our larger institutions.

On a microscale, I'm on the HOA board of our neighborhood so I get to hear the complaints from anyone who's upset. The most frustrated people are the ones who don't know their neighbors: they've never met their next door neighbors, so they're suspicious of their intentions, angry about what it looks like is going on over there, afraid of what might happen. They want the HOA to step in as an institution and fix all their neighbors. As soon as you meet who lives in the house, you realize they don't mow as often as you'd like because they have a new baby, they didn't know that overgrown bush blocks your view but they're happy to trim it when you say something, their teens are really very nice and are more likely to bring you cookies than egg your house.

That's a long way of saying that when people are losing faith in institutions, the real problem is likely down at the level of their immediate relationships - they're missing the village that makes the larger world navigable. And as you've argued throughout this project, the strongest personal relationships are in families.

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Jose Ancer's avatar

I fully agree with your thesis that "clans" are likely a substantial part of the future of restoring psychologically-nurturing "villages" in our atomized world, though I think more thought needs to be put into mechanisms for reinforcing trust (and related sacrifice) within them.

My kids are still young, but I toy with the prospect of, when they're older, having a "clan" tax. Like everyone agrees to put in X% of income into an account that serves as a safety net and also a way to fund large family vacations.

Separately, I think part of what's needed is a post-enlightenment, post-secularization variant of religion. I see a lot of secularization as a kind of adolescent "throwing the baby out with the bathwater." Religion isn't just theology. It's millennia-tested communal psychology. See "How God Works" by David DeSteno.

What moderns need is some way of translating traditional religious wisdom for the modern "educated" mind and sensibility, coupled with the kinds of loyalty-mechanisms that ensure it isn't just a gym membership. It's hard, but a worthwhile project. In the meantime, I've found a workable home among colorado lutherans. Not too stuffy, not too loosey-goosey either.

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