I REALLY can't get over the cognitive dissonance of this specific fear of abduction in a *parking lot*, when as you point out, car use itself is way more dangerous! Typically over 1000 children are killed each year in traffic accidents, but yet we don't seem to see tiktokers suggesting that no parent ever drive again...
I don't write a lot about this on Nuclear Meltdown, but I'm kind of an urban planning nerd in my free time, and it blows my mind that more parents aren't up in arms about things like traffic collisions, larger SUVs, the decline of kids commuting to school on foot/bike, etc etc. Walkable, humane cities seem like an obvious goal for parents who want to reduce risk to their kids.
Couldn't agree more! Also really seems like an arena where environmentalists can find a LOT of common sense allies around child safety, and I'm wondering why those alliances aren't happening more.
For what it's worth, I'd love to read more on the intersection of urban planning + parenting if you choose to bring more of that to your newsletter!
Yesssss there’s a ton of overlap in the parenting & the built environment, and I’m glad there’s people realizing this and writing about it. If you’re not following Addison Del Mastro here at The Deleted Scenes, I think you’d appreciate a bunch of his stuff. He’s great at thinking through both the psychology and physical ramifications of urban planning--including sometimes car seats, safety, family friendly-ness, etc.
Just another reason I'm glad to be off social media. This woman's video speaks not to the fact that she's "protecting" her children by shrugging off a basic act of decency, but she's inviting total strangers into her universe to agree or disagree with her eyeroll-inducing viewpoint which, one could argue, can do more damage to your children in the long run. I just imagine her young children in the backseat while she sits to post a video of why she's above putting carts back as she tells internet strangers to f*** off.
Without defending the specific argument against returning shopping carts, I want to say I don't think you can extrapolate it to attitudes about risk across the board. If it were really that "parents think 0.000356 percent of kids getting abducted in parking lots is too much danger to tolerate," those parents wouldn't be putting their kids in cars. It's something else -- mostly likely they're just mentally inflating this risk, but I don't think that means they're going to inflate other risks as well. I know parents who are, in my opinion, way too cautious about some things and incredibly reckless about others, which they probably think I'm neurotic and paranoid about.
I’ve jokingly complained to friends about the “Big Car Seat” industry and how car seats are so clunky and expensive for parents to manage. Thanks for the link to your nuanced article, very interesting
I think a lot about the gender dynamics of helicopter parenting because it seems like it's mostly moms on the forefront of the movement. I often wonder what the dads in these families are doing or thinking about all of this. I've noticed similar things — the resigned dad look — but what I don't understand is why this is happening. In other areas, dads are getting more involved in their kids lives, so I don't fully understand why they aren't playing a more prominent role in the ~discussion~ about parenting best practices.
I REALLY can't get over the cognitive dissonance of this specific fear of abduction in a *parking lot*, when as you point out, car use itself is way more dangerous! Typically over 1000 children are killed each year in traffic accidents, but yet we don't seem to see tiktokers suggesting that no parent ever drive again...
Yep.
I don't write a lot about this on Nuclear Meltdown, but I'm kind of an urban planning nerd in my free time, and it blows my mind that more parents aren't up in arms about things like traffic collisions, larger SUVs, the decline of kids commuting to school on foot/bike, etc etc. Walkable, humane cities seem like an obvious goal for parents who want to reduce risk to their kids.
Couldn't agree more! Also really seems like an arena where environmentalists can find a LOT of common sense allies around child safety, and I'm wondering why those alliances aren't happening more.
For what it's worth, I'd love to read more on the intersection of urban planning + parenting if you choose to bring more of that to your newsletter!
Yesssss there’s a ton of overlap in the parenting & the built environment, and I’m glad there’s people realizing this and writing about it. If you’re not following Addison Del Mastro here at The Deleted Scenes, I think you’d appreciate a bunch of his stuff. He’s great at thinking through both the psychology and physical ramifications of urban planning--including sometimes car seats, safety, family friendly-ness, etc.
love this recommendation!
Same here!
Just another reason I'm glad to be off social media. This woman's video speaks not to the fact that she's "protecting" her children by shrugging off a basic act of decency, but she's inviting total strangers into her universe to agree or disagree with her eyeroll-inducing viewpoint which, one could argue, can do more damage to your children in the long run. I just imagine her young children in the backseat while she sits to post a video of why she's above putting carts back as she tells internet strangers to f*** off.
such a great point. And what do you teach your kid if you walk around being a jerk to everyone? There's a cost there too, it's just harder to see.
Without defending the specific argument against returning shopping carts, I want to say I don't think you can extrapolate it to attitudes about risk across the board. If it were really that "parents think 0.000356 percent of kids getting abducted in parking lots is too much danger to tolerate," those parents wouldn't be putting their kids in cars. It's something else -- mostly likely they're just mentally inflating this risk, but I don't think that means they're going to inflate other risks as well. I know parents who are, in my opinion, way too cautious about some things and incredibly reckless about others, which they probably think I'm neurotic and paranoid about.
I’ve jokingly complained to friends about the “Big Car Seat” industry and how car seats are so clunky and expensive for parents to manage. Thanks for the link to your nuanced article, very interesting
I think a lot about the gender dynamics of helicopter parenting because it seems like it's mostly moms on the forefront of the movement. I often wonder what the dads in these families are doing or thinking about all of this. I've noticed similar things — the resigned dad look — but what I don't understand is why this is happening. In other areas, dads are getting more involved in their kids lives, so I don't fully understand why they aren't playing a more prominent role in the ~discussion~ about parenting best practices.