Jul 28, 2023·edited Jul 28, 2023Liked by Jim Dalrymple II
"This is not communalism and it’s not a utopia. It’s individualism taken to an extreme." A great summary of that weird option.
My husband's parents and my own moved away from family (like, across the country or different states) for professional work (for our dads). We appreciate all that afforded both of us growing up! But it's hard to not see the glaring familial distance that occurred as a result. And so, with that being a normal option -- professional work that takes you far away from family, and you just kinda grind to take care of your kids without family support -- it's been hard to describe how taxing it's been for us following that mold. (Especially in a city/church filled with people who did *not* do that, chose different paths, are completely surrounded by extended family as they raise kids.)
Makes us reconsider what the vision of a good life is for us and our own 3 boys. Perhaps, down the line, talking more to them about the pros and cons of different education & vocational paths would be a start. Just "following your interests" into college might not have a great quality of life payoff if you get a great job and end up stressed and depressed, raising a family apart from your own.
it's such a tough balancing act. On the one hand, you have to make a living. But on the other, life without a village is a lonely life indeed.
Your point about being surrounded by people who didn't make the same decisions and thus have their own existing networks also got me thinking. When I moved to LA for work, a lot of the people I encountered had gone to college there, or had even grown up in the immediate vicinity. It was great for them, but made it hard to find a sphere of people who were also looking for more relationships.
"This is not communalism and it’s not a utopia. It’s individualism taken to an extreme." A great summary of that weird option.
My husband's parents and my own moved away from family (like, across the country or different states) for professional work (for our dads). We appreciate all that afforded both of us growing up! But it's hard to not see the glaring familial distance that occurred as a result. And so, with that being a normal option -- professional work that takes you far away from family, and you just kinda grind to take care of your kids without family support -- it's been hard to describe how taxing it's been for us following that mold. (Especially in a city/church filled with people who did *not* do that, chose different paths, are completely surrounded by extended family as they raise kids.)
Makes us reconsider what the vision of a good life is for us and our own 3 boys. Perhaps, down the line, talking more to them about the pros and cons of different education & vocational paths would be a start. Just "following your interests" into college might not have a great quality of life payoff if you get a great job and end up stressed and depressed, raising a family apart from your own.
it's such a tough balancing act. On the one hand, you have to make a living. But on the other, life without a village is a lonely life indeed.
Your point about being surrounded by people who didn't make the same decisions and thus have their own existing networks also got me thinking. When I moved to LA for work, a lot of the people I encountered had gone to college there, or had even grown up in the immediate vicinity. It was great for them, but made it hard to find a sphere of people who were also looking for more relationships.