Sep 25, 2022·edited Sep 25, 2022Liked by Jim Dalrymple II
In the early 1980's when I started having kids, I sometimes wondered if the world would end soon too... And yeah, I was a lot more helicopter-y with my kids than my parents were with me. I am not sure that I have ever really figured out what small stuff is in the phrase 'Don't sweat the small stuff'! as far as having things, my kids had way more things and opportunities than I did. And now I regret supporting the concept of 'every kid deserves a trophy' in kids' competitive sports.
On the other extreme, you have parents who go the intensive, helicopter parenting route in fear of their children not having it as good as they did. Seems like the right attitude requires concern but not overconcern, a tricky balance.
I think what bugs me about some helicopter parents is that there's a ton of attention to immediate, short term issues (eg no unsupervised play outside etc) but not a ton of attention to longer term things. I've asked some friends who I'd consider helicopter parents (they may disagree) about things like how their kids are going to buy a house someday or whatever, and it's rare that there's much of a plan in place.
That's an interesting distinction I'd not thought of: helicopter parents are more worried about their children in the short-term than the long-term, at least in practice. Maybe a parent more actively concerned about the long-term (enough to have a plan for their child's career or how they're going to buy a house etc.) might fall into the "tiger parent" category popular in Asia (which has its own flaws btw).
In the early 1980's when I started having kids, I sometimes wondered if the world would end soon too... And yeah, I was a lot more helicopter-y with my kids than my parents were with me. I am not sure that I have ever really figured out what small stuff is in the phrase 'Don't sweat the small stuff'! as far as having things, my kids had way more things and opportunities than I did. And now I regret supporting the concept of 'every kid deserves a trophy' in kids' competitive sports.
That's interesting that you regret supporting that concept. How do you think outcomes might be different if people avoided this mentality?
On the other extreme, you have parents who go the intensive, helicopter parenting route in fear of their children not having it as good as they did. Seems like the right attitude requires concern but not overconcern, a tricky balance.
super tricky!
I think what bugs me about some helicopter parents is that there's a ton of attention to immediate, short term issues (eg no unsupervised play outside etc) but not a ton of attention to longer term things. I've asked some friends who I'd consider helicopter parents (they may disagree) about things like how their kids are going to buy a house someday or whatever, and it's rare that there's much of a plan in place.
That's an interesting distinction I'd not thought of: helicopter parents are more worried about their children in the short-term than the long-term, at least in practice. Maybe a parent more actively concerned about the long-term (enough to have a plan for their child's career or how they're going to buy a house etc.) might fall into the "tiger parent" category popular in Asia (which has its own flaws btw).
I found this rubric on different parenting styles helpful: https://theconversation.com/from-tiger-to-free-range-parents-what-research-says-about-pros-and-cons-of-popular-parenting-styles-57986
Super interesting. And I hadn't really considered the tiger parent aspect, but I think you're totally right.