The frustrating way we accomplish nothing for families

The formula shortage is just the latest example

The formula shelf at my local grocery store right as the shortage was beginning. A day later all of this was gone.

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I’m going to start this post talking about the baby formula shortage, which is on its own frustrating. But bear with me because I’ll eventually get to childcare as well — with the point being that we need solutions to these problems faster than our lawmaking apparatus can provide them.

So first formula. As I’m sure everyone knows at this point, there is a severe baby formula shortage happening right now. As the parent of a two-month-old, this is a very real issue for my own family. We are fortunate that we have a healthy baby who tolerates a lot of different types of formula. We also have family who have picked up formula for us in their respective communities, and ultimately we’ve managed to get enough to hopefully last until this situation stabilizes¹.

But a lot of people aren’t so fortunate. Some people have babies with special needs who have to consume a very specific type of formula. Or they live in a place that is more depleted than my community. Or they don’t have family who was able to pick up formula for them. Or whatever. The point is that unlike other shortages during the pandemic, this one endangers especially vulnerable lives (babies) in a uniquely terrifying way².

But what I (and a lot of other parents) have found particularly galling about this situation is the advice from experts to… I guess… do nothing? Here’s an example from NPR a few days ago in which Dr. Steven Abrams insists that parents not water down their formula. And not give their babies cow milk. And not make their own formula. Fair enough. That’s all great advice when there’s not a formula shortage.

But Abrams also didn’t really offer substantive advice about what parents should do. Eventually, in response to questions about practical advice, he concedes that parents could use cow milk as a very brief stopgap, but also settles on the useless-for-parents idea of reexamining the way the formula industry works.

Which, sure, yes let’s figure out a better system. No one is opposed to that.

But by all accounts this shortage is going to last for months. A baby can go, what, maybe three days without sustenance? There is a large gap between those two timeframes. So what are parents supposed to do in the meantime if they can’t get formula? Let babies die? Become marauding formula pirates?³

I don’t mean to pick on this Dr. Abrams, who sounded like he’s probably overall a nice guy. I’ve singled out this NPR segment because it’s typical of a lot of advice out there right now. So far it has been very easy to find information about what not to do, but very difficult to find solutions if you’re a parent who can’t find formula.

I find this unwillingness to entertain practical solutions inexplicable. Maybe the infant health experts simply don’t believe that the shortage will get to the point where babies are starving? But as a parent staring down one empty grocery store shelf after another, it’s very easy to imagine a not-distant future in which we’ll have to make hard choices about our babies’ diets.

In any case, this refusal to entertain practical solutions is actually standard practice when it comes to parenting and policy. And the debate about childcare really captures this problem.

I last wrote about childcare a couple of weeks ago, at which time I mentioned wanting flexible options that maximize parents’ choices for how to raise their kids. But what really stands out to me about the childcare debate is that it has been going on literally for decades and yet there is still no actual federal policy in place.

As I’ve written before, the US got closest to a federal childcare policy in 1971, when both houses of congress passed a law, only for Nixon to veto it. I’m sure there were young parents who needed childcare at the time, saw how close lawmakers got, and thought, “we’re so close, I’m sure we’ll get this taken care of soon.”

Now, those young parents are grandparents. Some might even be great-grandparents.

And it turns out the debate is even older than that. Here’s a picture from 1947 that shows families demonstrating in favor of state-sponsored childcare.

You can read more about this photo here. They weren’t pushing for a federal policy a la the Nixon era one, so it’s a bit of apples and oranges. But this is evidence that families have been asking lawmakers for a solution on this issue for a long, long time.

In 1947, some of my grandparents didn’t even have kids yet. And my grandparents are all dead now. This is a debate that has been dragging on, unresolved, across multiple lifetimes.

For that reason, I’m not holding my breath for a federal childcare policy any time soon. In the same way that reexamining the formula industry is a worthwhile thing to do but also not super helpful for anyone’s current problems, pursuing a slow-moving policy solution on childcare is something I support, even if I think it’ll become reality way too late to help any of today’s parents.

Now, someone is going to point out that Biden just released a proposal on childcare. We’re so close!

But let’s just tease out the timeline here for the best case scenario. Right now the Democrats are the party with the specific proposal. They’ve controlled the presidency and congress for two and a half years now and didn’t get anything done on this issue. They’re now widely expected to lose one or both houses of congress in November. It’s possible Democrats could suddenly get much more productive. But given what has happened so far, the likeliest scenario in my mind is that lawmakers in a divided congress won’t be able to agree on a policy during the next two and a half years.

So, in order for Democrats to get something done on this they’re going to need to retain the presidency, win back congress in 2024, and become more effective than they’ve managed to be so far. If all of that happens — and that’s a lot of huge “ifs” —they might pass something in 2025, which would then probably go into effect in 2026.

There are long shot scenarios in which things move more quickly. Republicans could take congress and the presidency in 2024, for example, and then opt to get something done on childcare⁴. Lawmakers could compromise. But, again, such outcomes seem like long shots.

In 2026, my now-newborn daughter will be in her second year of preschool. My two other kids will be several years in to elementary school. Lots of parents need childcare beyond school hours, but the point is that in four years many of today’s families’ childcare needs will have evolved significantly. And this could very easily take much longer than four years. People like me could end up being grandparents before this is resolved.

Which is to say, a policy solution is worth pursuing. But it’s almost certainly going to come too late for anyone parenting today, and if history is a guide it may not get done for future generations either.

To be clear, this is not the outcome I’m rooting for. I’d love some policy, any policy from either side of the political spectrum, to become reality quickly. But it’s also worth being realistic.

So where does that leave us?

The formula shortage is instructive. If the problem drags on and I personally can’t find formula, I’ll have to make due with homemade solutions. I hope it doesn’t come to that. I suspect it won’t. But one thing is for sure: my daughter can’t survive on new regulatory policy that turns up in five years.

The same goes with childcare: Let’s chase a policy solution, but in the meantime I suppose I’ll have to figure something out myself. And since it’s too late for me, that solution will probably be something that bears fruit in the next generation.

This is why I’ve gravitated to the intergenerational concept. It’s not because I’m into #TradLife or just think my family is so cool (though it is!). It’s because an intergenerational support network a practical solution that I can build for myself and for my kids while waiting years or decades (or forever) for systemic change.

I may not be able to break up the formula monopolies, or ram childcare policy through congress, or wait for capitalism⁵ itself to evolve into something better. But I can try to rebuild the kind of village that most humans traditionally relied on when they lacked sustenance or support. Rebuilding the village may not be the whole solution, but it’s definitely better than nothing.

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Headlines to check out:

A Very Expensive, Technically Illegal Workaround to the Formula Shortage

“With more than 40 percent of the country’s infant formula currently out of stock, millions of parents are scrambling to get ahold of supplies. But other parents with the means and know-how are relying on a controversial workaround—they’re tapping into a black market that lets them get formula from around the world shipped right to their home. Across social media, parents have been swapping advice and resources for how to get hold of various kinds of European formula, which is illegal to import to the United States.”

1. I’m not going to go deep on the “just breastfeed” argument, because it’s idiotic. Lots of families have major biological challenges when it comes to breastfeeding (lack of milk production, latching issues, etc. etc.). In other cases, moms have to work and don’t have the time or a location in which to breastfeed or pump. There are an array of other reasons moms can’t or don’t breastfeed. Sure we haven’t always had formula. But also haven’t always had our modern, low infant mortality rate. I didn’t actually know people were unaware of all of this until a few days ago, when I tweeted about the shortage and received several “breastmilk is free” responses. I found it baffling. This point is in a footnote because the “just breastfeed” argument is not a sufficiently serious one to bother entertaining in the main body of this post.

2. Shortages of toilet paper or lumber were annoying, but there were alternatives. You could still buy a bidet from Amazon, for example. But if babies start going hungry en masse this shortage would get really ugly really fast.

3. These aren’t academic questions, but so many experts and armchair observers are treating them as if they are, as if parents just need to try harder to find formula.

4. I’m definitely not here to advocate for Republicans or Democrats. The Democrats just happen to be the party with the specific proposal right now. So, the “best case” scenario here isn’t one party or another in power, it’s getting something done on an issue that matters to families.

5. I’m remembering here a recent post I read from Anne Helen Petersen about building a sweeping “infrastructure of care.” It’s a lovely idea and I’d love to live in the society that had all the things the post advocated for. But the post also notes that building this system starts “first and foremost” with policy. That strikes me as a luxury that many people just don’t have.